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I'm not going to get yet there are millions of reasons to be jealous of people and to Envy them and it's a natural response ,it would not be natural not to feel jealous to look at someone and think wow you really born into all of that everything that I'm working for that my family is working for if we're very lucky and hardworking we might get a tiny fraction of what that person over there got simply from being born and all the beautiful faces that you see online in particular and in the world.
There are tons of people that are way better looking than you are and than I are and that are way healthier than what some people can dream to be so I don't like this narrative that you should try to convince yourself that oh but everyone has their problems and no one's life is perfect and don't look at people and feel Envy I mean sure some people paint a picture.
We barely know most of what's going on in other people's lives and I'm not saying anyone's life is perfect even if some lives seem that way on the surface but I think it's way more effective to Simply accept the fact that yeah the truth the raw truth is that a lot of people by sheer luck well at least a lot of luck, I don't want to discredit people's hard work but where you're born the family you're born into those are things that are 100% out of your control the health
You're born into and it is unfair the world is very unfair I just think it does not help to try to convince yourself that there is no reason to be jealous your life is perfect the way it is and you have things that they don't have and I like to just look at things for the way that they are and that is the best healthiest way that I personally can process things and accept things and I like to practice the thing where I don't understand something but I can still find a way to accept it without having to try and convince myself of various things just to make myself feel better cuts it does not make me feel better you know when I was younger and I remember this one girl in particular stunning striking like the person you see who you just want to look out like you're trying not to be rude but you just want to stare at her cuts she is a work of art and I remember seeing her face and just trying to find a flaw just to make myself feel better cuts
It was so unfair to me that someone that good look could just be born into it without having to do anything share luck and then go on and live her life and walk this Earth looking like that there had to be a flaw I would analyze her face this sounds insane I'm not comfortable admitting it but I will admit it I think it's important I will look at her face photos trying to just find a flaw to make myself feel better like I felt like she was not allowed to look that way like there was no way I would analyze you know her features and her posture her
I don't know lips her smile trying to think oh maybe she has an ugly smile NOP very pretty smile oh maybe she has an ugly laugh nope very pretty laugh maybe she walks weird no very straight very very proudly oh but her clothing I don't know her sense of fashion is totally not I don't know she's not fashionable I guess well actually she was not very fashionable but it didn't matter she was the outfit she she could wear anything anything at all and still look absolutely stunning so it did not help trying to find flaws to make myself feel better did not help
The same way if I would see someone who let's say was born into wealth and every single opportunity that there is you know right at the tip of their fingers um I would think oh but I'm sure if you're that rich you must have a lot of problems within your family cuts money creates a lot of problems or I would think I'm sure their dad because he's so rich has had a bunch of Affairs or I'm sure they're not happy cuts I don't know I would just try to find reasons again to make myself or to ease the pain of Simply acknowledging and accepting the fact that life is very much unfair and some people just simply have it very very good in many areas of their lives and since I've come to that realization I have found tremendous peace and simply acknowledging that it just is that way it has always been that way it is always going to be that way that has been step one whether I find a little flaw or like a gotcha moment like Oh I thought you looked perfect but hey I can see that your nails are kind of weird okay so you're not perfect
It doesn't really make me feel better anyway even if I did find like a minor so-called flaw that would somehow take away from their perceived Perfection at the end of the day it didn't really make me feel better at all it didn't really matter I think that's the thing it did not matter so what if I find a flaw or a loophole or this crazy gossip about this family that turns out to be true wow okay so their family is not perfect oh so this person's husband is not perfect and their health is not perfect and it's a bit of a facade I think a lot of people get some satisfaction from that cuts we don't want to believe that people have it too good we don't want to believe that we have have it worse we hate Injustice it's not a good feeling to look at someone who has never seemingly had to go through pain or hardship to have it all cuts
We're like why don't I have that why did not I have that you know what did they do in their past life that made them have everything in this life or whatever if you believe in that kind of stuff the reason I'm even talking about this topic is because I don't want to talk about social media I think it's a very boring subject at this point like we get it we've heard it all but I see and read so much of people just being very jealous and spiteful and with lots of drama being exposed amongst creators and celebrities and just the satisfaction that I see thousands of people get from other people's downfall like when their bubble has been burst I just look at that and I wonder how does that affect your life how does that make you better happier prettier healthier more fulfilled so let's say there was this couple that you were jealous of they seem to have it all and then a Scandal comes out and turns out things were not all that great and it was a facade what's in it for you why do so many people get so much satisfaction out of that does that make your relationship better does it make your life better in any way what does it do to you really whether or not someone has it better much better they're much luckier what does it have to do with you does it change anything really and now you might say well it makes me put some or take some pressure off myself cuts these unrealistic ideas of that people are you know portraying makes me feel like I'm just never good enough my relationship is not good enough
I'm never making enough money I'm never pretty enough and I think that's fair I think that's fair I think that's the reason why let's say we see someone who seems to have perfect skin and then they are caught in a candid photo and it turns out they actually really do not have Perfect Skin at all we're like O Okay so I can take some pressure off now cuts I thought that was attainable but now it turns out it's not even real so I can take some pressure off and that makes me feel good
I get that but do you need other people to validate those things for you can you just use common sense can you just do a little research on your own can you just trust what you know to be true why do we need other people often times people we don't even know people online to sort of teach us or prove to us or tell us that it's okay to be flawed that it's okay to not have everything figured out that it's okay to be this way or that way for you to feel like you can chill out and relax and feel better about yourself you shouldn't need that valid that external validation you don't even know these people who cares if you thought that they had Perfect Skin and turns out they do not who cares if it you thought that they had this perfect relationship turns out they do not why do you need that validation why do you even put these people on the pedestal and draw so much joy from when they are exposed somehow or is this making sense cuts it's making perfect sense in my mind
I'm hoping it's making sense to you who's listening I just think that as a society we are giving too much power to strangers and random people I think we are really bad at looking inwards I think we are really bad at trusting our own perception of things our own realities our own gut feeling just common sense I don't have to see a photo of this person's flawed skin to know that it's not normal or common or even realistic to have perfectly Flawless skin I don't need people to be exposed in order for me to understand that I can just use my common sense and my life experience and what I was taught in school and with a quick little search for what does normal skin look like and pull up a study I don't need someone on Tik Tok to let me know that or someone's relationship I don't need some Scandal to be exposed for me to feel like oh okay so relationships are not perfect
I already know they're not this random person does not I don't need to wait for this random couple to teach me that I need to be my own person we need to be our own persons more I feel like in 2025 with our own personalities our own independent thoughts we need to be critical we need to do our own research and read books and studies and listen to people who have credit within certain Fields like you can easily pull up these statistics on divorce for example to know that I think it's over 50% of marriages and in divorce what does that tell you these relationships that you see are not perfect and that is not a bad thing that's not what I'm saying it's simply realistic it simply is it's not good or bad it just simply is but you don't need external factors to validate you for you to feel okay in life for you to feel okay about your relationships the money that you're making your career path your looks you can figure those things out on your own by looking in words and by just being smart and using Common Sense by being your own person by not being a follower by being critical by not blindly believing everything that you see and everything that you hear by not jumping on the bandwagon when you see other people believing something or doing something or thinking something so of course you're jealous
We're all jealous of something and I don't think that's a bad thing I don't think that is something we should try to escape I don't think that's something we should use as a way to try to find Joy from other people's flaws and downfalls it's not about them it's about you okay so what can you do if you find yourself being envious of someone of something the first thing I do is I simply accept it when I see that beautiful girl I don't try to analyze her trying to find something wrong I'm just like you know what this girl damn she's gorgeous she is a 10 in every way in my opinion probably in the opinion of other people good for her I don't really give it that much more thought that's it her being beautiful or not being beautiful has nothing to do with me does not impact my life in any way at all unless we're both applying for like a modeling job or something like I guess in that way it could impact your life but usually we don't have those feelings towards people who somehow directly impact Our Lives usually
We just see some random person who lives across the world from us on Tik Tok and we're like wow now I feel like even though that has nothing to do with you or your life so simply acknowledging that yeah they're gorgeous or Lucky them because when they were two their parents put them in tennis lessons and and now they are really good and they seem so fulfilled and they have a great body and I don't that sucks I wish I had that again does not affect you but it's natural and okay to acknowledge that like hey I wish I had that cool but don't put so much value or like find energy I guess and lack of a better word into it you can acknowledged,
acknowledge something without going too much into it and caring too much about it and trying to ruin them or you know leave a hateful comment or gossip about them or find a flaw stop we don't do that if you do that you know what you should be jealous of decency cuts you're not decent I'm not saying that's you I'm just saying if that's what you're tempted to do when you see someone doing better than you because there are people doing better than you and me it's a fact if you're tempted to go down the dark route when you see that you have a lot you should be jealous of before being jealous of superficial stuff like someone's looks or career or whatever so work on that first and then I try to think okay what is this communicating to me let's say I am indeed jealous of this girl who is really good at tennis she started playing when she was two what is that communicating to me hm okay maybe it communicates that wow I really wish I had a sport in my life that I was passionate about I don't have that hm okay now I have this information maybe that's the thing that I'm jealous of that's triggering me somehow okay what can I do about that well I can try to figure out what sport would I be interested in let's say it's tennis just for the sake of this conversation it's tennis I really wish I was a tennis player okay good now you have some data points so what can you do without but you guess that you can take a tennis class you can buy the equipment and play outside with a friend there are tons of places at least in Sweden
I don't know where you are where you can play for free actually I don't know if you can play for free probably not but it's not that expensive it's pretty accessible just as an example start playing what's stopping you really what excuses are you making what are you doing other than scrolling on your phone and wishing you had everything other people have what are you doing about it are you just The Wisher dreamer complainer or are you a doer someone who makes things happen someone who loves themselves someone who at least tries at least once someone who does something about these feelings that they're feeling are you doing that cuts these people are doing that the girl who started playing tennis of two she's been consistent and now she's really good at it and she's got a great body it didn't just come to her sure parents helped her out put her in tennis maybe they had a you know economical background that you don't have again I know there are tons of factors that are fully unfair and that may frustrate us a ton people have opportunities that you do not have or that you have not had it's just a fact no sugar coating,
no way to get around it no beating around the bush it just is what it is but what are you doing about that now are you putting in any effort you you know we look at people who have a great body I know a lot of these examples are quite superficial but I'm seeing a lot of these Trends online so that's what's frying my brain and I think it's important cuz our image our looks our Hobbies our lives these things really influence us and our well-being our mental health so let's say you see this person who has a great body and yes the people who hate taking responsibility love to Simply say they are lucky it's just genetics and then they stop there they don't even try they make no effort they get no gym membership they don't go out running even though it's free they don't make up the time the space they don't prioritize it they take zero steps towards also becoming that very thing that they so deeply desire they will make the excuses stop there and move on to the next thing to be annoyed about now am I saying that luck genetics all of that don't play a role of course they do of course they do but you are looking at this little data point and and making that the entire reason for why you should not try in Swedish we say which basically means I don't know what is in English
You know when you put when someone puts their leg in front of your leg and so you fall I'm sure there's an English word for it basically you're doing that to yourself I can also look at someone and think wow no matter how hard I work at the gym I'm not going to be shaped like her yeah that's a fact so should I just not go at all then should I just not work on myself at all then I'll just sit here then right cuts that's her genetic she builds muscle quickly she's naturally this way and that way okay fine so I guess I'll do nothing then is that the type of person you want to be is that the life you want to build for how far is that going to get you really cuts we could use that excuse for everything and remember excuse does not mean it's not true something can be true and still be an excuse so how far are you going to take that how much kin are you going to set for yourself you know what I really have grown into accepting is that I can only ever be the best version of myself but that version is way better than I have ever given myself credit for and that version has nothing to do with anyone else I'm never going to look like anyone else I'm never going to have the background the upbringing the opportunities the wealth the health the access to various things and places and people that some other people have but I have what I have and that is fully my resp responsibility and it's fully up to me to make the most out of it so yeah of course you're jealous but let that be data points and then apply that to you whether another person Rises or Falls and whether you find enjoyment in that it's really a waste of time and energy and you should spend that on you
You should be your project don't look at someone else's project focus on your project I'm not saying the podcast is back I just felt passionately that I wanted to have this conversation and I hope you enjoyed it I'll talk to you soon
